Horse Racing Fantasy Community

American Show Idol: Thousands of equestrians must audition in front of exacting judges who pick apart their ride using colorful evaluations such as "try tennis!" and "clucking to your horse makes you sound like a chicken". George Morris guest stars.

One of my last entries was a list of things you shouldn't say to blacksmith. Here are some more of those things. Don't say I didn't warn you!
So, how much does your chiropractor run you a month?
Sorry - that’s my cell phone. I won’t let it ring under this colt’s nose again.
He never does that for me.
My horse doesn’t kick. ...well he has never kicked before.

Just do the hinds I’ll do the the fronts.
I left the checkbook in the car, and my wife/husband just left can you bill me?
I’m sure glad you don’t mind working on muddy feet.
Does it mean my horses have some sort of deficiency when they chew the paint off your truck like that?

You may be sitting there thinking that you are OK, and don't really need any help. It is not easy to realize that you are a horse-aholic, and even harder to bring yourself to a HA meeting for help. HA is here to assist you. I have some questions to ask to try to determine if you can be helped.

Is your mail made up primarily of breed magazines and horse catalogs?

When you are self absorbed, let me teach you to think of greater things. Translation: When you're self-absorbed, let me teach you to PAY ATTENTION. Remember what I said about those lions?
When you are arrogant, let me teach you humility. Translation: When you're arrogant, let me teach you what 1200 lbs. Of "YAHOO LETS GO!" can do when suitably inspired.

I think it's safe to assume that most of us attended high school. No matter how old or young we are, whether the generational gap is large enough to be the Grand Canyon, one thing that all high schools, and our memory of our time attending those high schools, have in common are the social circles, the cliques, that were as much a part of high school as catching a few zzz's during study hall.

For a nominal fee, you can hire someone else to clip them
They don't like the lady next door just as well as you, just because she fed him for 3 days straight
Husbands are less expensive to shoe than horses.
Feeding a husband doesn't require anything that even mildly compares with the hassle of putting up hay
A lame husband can still work

Have you heard about the guy who went to the races and while there he observed a Roman Catholic priest who went over to a horse and sprinkled it with holy water?The horse went on to win the race, streaking ahead of the opposition. Before the next race he saw the priest go over to another horse and sprinkle it with holy water. Like the first horse it went on to win its race.

Great legs and a nice rear will get you anywhere. Big, brown eyes help too. Also helps if you are Big Brown. Get him here
Life isn't fair. The best of the best always get the best.
When in doubt, run far, far away.

A man was driving into town, and he fell in a big ditch on the side of the road. A farmer heard the crash, hurried over and said, "Stay there, my horse Sebastian can pull you out,"
The man said, "Oh, thanks a lot!"